Triathlon Results

With over 100 votes tallied, the public has spoken on who they thought would be the champion at this years Cecil J. Jarvis Memorial Triathlon. Unfortunately for the public, they were way off! 

Mr. Hans Otten received the most votes and had a strong showing, placing second in the group of four and placing 9th overall. Otten was steady in the swim, coming out of the water with the 20th fastest time. He stayed consistent through the bike, with the 21st fastest time of the day, to keep himself within striking distance of the top racers in his age division (old). Otten then finished off with his favorite event: The Run. Ever the runner, Otten hit his stride on the 5k, two-loop course. He was often seen yelling at the same 24 year-old and at one point even slapped his palm. It was exciting. Whilst this was going on, Otten was passing people like it was his job and claimed his final victim in the closing moments. He came across the finish line after toasting a little whippersnapper with floppy hair on the final stretch, finishing with  the 6th fastest run time of the day and a 9th overall position. Unfortunately for Otten, he was in the most competitive division and missed out on an age-group award by less than a minute.

Hans Otten

Swim: 13:49

Bike: 36:42

Run: 21:08

Total: 1:13:12

Coming in second in the vote was Mr. Roy Beaumont of LinkedIn fame. Beaumont had one of the strongest swims of the day, blazing through the 600 yards in 13:34, giving him the 16th fastest swim of the day. Beaumont struggled in the transition area, probably with his shoes, as it took him a full minute longer to get on his bike than the eventual winner. ouch. However, once on the bike, Beaumont picked up speed. Sort of. Beaumont cruised through the final two legs of the race and felt the thrill of finishing 1:35:18 after he began, which was good enough for the 68th fastest men’s time, and the 100th fastest time overall (including females and relay teams). 

Roy Beaumont

Swim: 13:34

Bike: 45:05

Run: 32:58

Overall: 1:35:18


Coming in third places in the voting was the youngest racer in the group, Kerrin Sheldon. Sheldon knew that the swim would be quite difficult (for him), as he had only swam twice in the past 18 months. He was very right. Sheldon spat and coughed his way through the 600 yards like he was having lake water injected into his mouth at regular intervals. Even though he, and the rest of the men, began the swim a full three minutes before the ladies, Sheldon was caught and passed by the top ladies in the competition halfway through his own swim. Because someone tore off Sheldon’s computer chip during the swim, none of his splits are known, but he remembers that his family doctor, Dr. Mike Hess, was the person right in front of him as he got out of the water, which gives Kerrin a swim time of almost exactly 17 minutes, around 60th best time for the men. With lots of ground to gain, Sheldon jumped on his bike and took to the street with ferocity. By time he had sped his way around the course, he had passed more than 30 individual bikers, and even claimed almost another dozen participants on the run, with his final victim being the 31-year-old Jeffrey Ammons, passing him in the final moments to finish with a time of 1:16:54. The time was good enough for second place in his age division (20-29) and 16th in the men’s division, and 21st overall. Kerrin received a beautiful plaque for his efforts. 

Kerrin Sheldon

Total: 1:16:54

The racer who finished last in the poll was last years race winner, Vinnie Monseau. Unfortunately for all of our voters, Vinnie once again dominated the field and took home the overall prize with a time of 59:31, crushing the other three poll participants. 

“Next year will be different,” Sheldon said after the race. “Next year, it will be very, very different.” He did not expand on this quote. 

On the relay side of things, Team SueAnne’s Team had a top 10 finish, despite not having a swimmer. Tim Sheldon participated in the bike portion of the race and left with Mr. Roy Beaumont after the swim. Once on the bike, T. Sheldon’s lack of training caught up with him, as did the rest of the field, as he logged a time of 48:24, the 7th fastest relay time of the day (out of 9). Luckily for him, he had Beaumont’s blazing fast wife waiting for him at the end of his ride. As Sheldon transferred his chip to Sue Anne, he bent over, sucking in air. Sue Anne took off and recorded a time of 30:44, the 6th fastest relay run of the day. SueAnne’s Team recorded a total of 1:31:01, despite not having a swimmer. 

This photo gallery details the race in full:

2 thoughts on “Triathlon Results

  1. That photo of Uncle Hans hunting down the floppy haired kid is priceless! I also like the one of Kerrin flexing while holding his made-at-Wal-Mart plaque.

    Who took those great photos?!

  2. What an impressively written blog. Rich in color, vivid in detail … its as if I’m with the characters of this splendidly told story telling them to pedal higher up WV’s Mount Ventoux or to be sure swim more efficiently (stroke, turn head, breathe … not turn head, breathe, stroke). I wonder if this writer has an interest in pursuing an advanced writing degree … maybe at Purdue?

    Just glad that the AP photographer got me in motion … and not walking the 5K leg.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s